


Different

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-07
Updated: 2007-09-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 12:39:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Severus Snape always knew he was different. Why did he have to fall in love with Remus Lupin?  His rejection was the last straw.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J.K. Rowling  
Summery: Severus Snape always knew he was different. Why did he have to fall in love with Remus Lupin? His rejection was the last straw.

~~~~~~~~SS/RL~~~~~~~~~

 

Severus had a problem.

He had known since he was little that he wasn’t like all the other boys. His mother acted like all proper mothers should getting together with other mothers her age, dicussing the horrors of parenting and the foolish things that husbands do. Severus was planted in a room with other little boys his age.

He learned soon that these little ragamuffins preferred bashing figurines and loud noises over activities that Severus liked. He learned that boys his age didn’t like to ride the toy wooden horse he had. They didn’t want to sneak into his mother’s room and steal the red glossy lip paint that Severus sighed over many a time. They didn’t appreciate it when poor confused little Severus wanted to test out what was so great about meeting lips, like he had seen his Mommy and Daddy do.

Severus grew up.

He learned that only a girl and a boy were supposed meet lips; kissing, it was called. He learned that it was unsuitable for a boy to wear ‘lipstick’. Even though it was fun, Severus was too old to ride the little toy horse. It was unfair. Severus didn’t want to to do what most boys like to do.

He knew he was different.

By the time Severus was old enough to go to the prestigious Hogwarts, he knew that he needed to be careful. He had to fit in. He didn’t have to pretend that he thought girls had cooties. They really did, didn’t they? They certainly were meant to stay away from Severus. Girls were giggly. They wore horrid colors that made Severus’ eyes water. The older ones had a suffocating smell that permeated the air around then. The only thing he enjoyed was watching their red covered mouths.   
He resented them.

Why could squirmy girls get to wear such finery? Why did boys want to kiss them? Was he not good enough? They flomped around , those unsightly girls. Why did they deserve to do things he couldn’t? Why were they so pretty and perfect? Severus couldn’t see it.

In his later years, Severus learned what the word ‘gay’ meant. He learned that he most definitely was different. 

He was gay.

Severus liked boys. When puberty hit, Severus moaned to dreams of strong hands, muscled backs, and deep voices. Severus began to love and hate the public shower rooms. His body betrayed him in front of such beautiful images.   
He never found out how Potter and Black discovered his secret. Maybe, they didn’t know for a fact. Maybe, they simply decided that being called a homosexual infront of a large crowd was humiliating enough for their enemy. If that was their reason, they were right. Severus never would be able to forgive them for the jeers and tauntings he received. He hated them.

He hated himself.

He hated himself because he was different. He gave them a reason to mock him. And if that wasn’t bad enough already, he had fallen for the best friend to his biggest tormentors.

Remus Lupin

Words couldn’t describe the perfection of such a boy. Such expressive amber eyes with light brown wisps of hair flowing over them. Pale, creamy skin covered the boy’s flawless face. An admittidly adorable nose with light pink plump lips. He was gorgeous.

He was off-limits.

He supposed such a secret couldn’t stay secret for long. Black finding out was inevitable. Severus was never a very lucky boy. So when he had gotten too close, had foolishly wondered about the secret that was Remus Lupin, he was idiotic enough to follow Black’s word. He barely survived the ensuing event. However, he did find out Remus’ secret.

He was a werewolf.

Hurt by the lack of punishment given to Black, tormented his entire Hogwarts life by his peers, lacking in any friends, suffering from a love that wasn’t in the least bit returned, disgusted by the fact that he had worsened his own chances by being gay, Severus turned his pathetic life over to a seductive Lucius Malfoy. Severus bowed to a rising Dark Lord. Severus Snape became a Death Eater.


End file.
